So, for example, "I have her" uses "her" as a direct object, and "her" is in the accusative case, where "she" is in the nominative case. In Latin, the verb "esse" "to be" is special; it doesn't have a direct object in the accusative case, it has a complement in the nominative case. English grammarians in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries adopted a number of rules of Latin grammar into English; this was one of them.
English, though, takes word-order very seriously, and a pronoun after a verb is very strongly marked as being in the objective case and you don't get the benefit that you get in Latin from the exception - there's still one before the verb and one after; you don't get to make clear that it's commutative. So you have a special-case for a verb, which you get no useful benefit from. It's hardly surprising that most English speakers have reverted to "it is her" rather than "it is she".
A note on cases: Latin is conventionally described as having seven cases though only five are actually different for most nouns and pronouns. It has two cases, accusative and dative for the objects of verbs. English's residual case system only has the one case for both, which merge into the objective case in fact, a third Latin case, ablative , merges in too. That's why the two paragraphs above appear to use two different words for the same case.
It's correct either way. English has lost its case system almost completely. A long time ago — far too long ago to be directly relevant today —, English still had a 'proper' case system and the copula be was followed by subject case. This is normal for Indo-European languages. Therefore, originally it would have been something like translating to modern "It is she".
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However, just like French but under the radar, English developed emphatic forms of its pronouns. When an adult asks a bunch of children "Qui veut de la glace? The French third person feminine pronoun happens to have no special emphatic form. It's elle whether emphatic or not. In English, the non-emphatic subject case is she , and all other forms object case and emphatic form are her. Therefore, in natural English the correct answer is "This is her. For some reason, there is a tradition in English grammar as taught to native speakers to completely ignore the issue of emphatic pronouns and to assume that English has to work like German, which does not have them, or like Latin, where only emphatic pronouns exist and these carry the case distinctions.
Suggesting you spend time with her friends and family is not a scientifically proven signal that may indicate that you're in love. While analyzing your feelings can be difficult, there are a few scientifically proven signals that may indicate that you're in love. While you want to endear yourself to her friends, you don't want to confess your love to them before you tell her yourself. Everybody has their own way to express and receive love.
Buying flowers isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. While it is more common for men to say, "I love you" first, it is not a race. You should say "I love you" when you really mean it and not because she hints at it or you think it is time in the relationship.
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The best way tell a girl you love her is to be direct! You need to accept her feelings and try to move on. Don't dwell on the "why. It is very difficult to share your feelings with someone. Congratulate yourself for putting yourself out there! You shouldn't get your hopes up that she will change her mind.
Signs She's Not Into You
Accept the relationship for what it is, or walk away. You should neither ignore her nor pretend everything is the same as it was. Respect the new boundaries while maintaining your friendship, if possible. A wikiHow Staff Editor reviewed this article to make sure it's helpful and accurate.
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“This is she” vs. “This is her”
Spending time together allows you both to get to know each other on a deeper level. Eliminate distractions including cell phones, unwanted visitors, or blaring music whenever you can. Getting to know her and spending time together are essential to building a romantic relationship.
Choose activities that you can both do together like studying, hiking, or grabbing a bite to eat. Make sure you make it clear that you enjoy your time with her and appreciate how much you both are getting to know one another. If you fear rejection, putting your emotions out in the open can be terrifying; however, you should also realize that regret can be just as powerful. Realize that putting yourself out there and knowing the truth is the only way to overcome both the fear of rejection and regret.
It is a relief just to get this off your chest.
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- “This is she” vs. “This is her”.
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Be honest about your feelings. Do you actually love her or is this lust or infatuation? Could you stand losing her friendship? Do not be friends with her in hopes that you can change her mind about you. This is unfair to her as friendships should be based on trust and respect.
If you truly love her, you will be a good friend first and foremost. Do you exhibit any of these feelings? If you think that she is perfect and only focus on her positive qualities, it may be because your memory has increased to accommodate your new feelings of love. Going through adversity can also make you fall in love because your brain produces more dopamine, a chemical responsible for reward and pleasure. If you feel you are obsessing over her it may be because your brain has decreased the levels of central serotonin, which is associated with obsessive behavior.
People in love have also shown signs of emotional dependency in which they want to be together all the time and hope to stay together forever. Studies have shown that being in love is about an emotional union, not about sex. Studies have also shown that people in love feel that their love is uncontrollable. Be direct when expressing yourself. Always respectfully ask and thank her for opening up to you.
Being open is essential in expressing your love for one another.
10 Signs That Prove She's Just Not That Into You (Sorry!)
Love is a very strong emotion and is usually developed over time. Take a look at how your relationship with her has developed over time and focus on all the positive emotions you have shared together. If you feel that your love for her has developed rather quickly, stay positive that there is no better time to reveal your feelings. You can always find a reason not to do something so be bold and follow your heart.
You accept both her positive and negative qualities. You want to be with her all the time. You suggest spending time with her friends and family. All of the above. Choose the right time and place. She has previously stated that she needs patience and understanding, which considering what she is going through, I am willing to give her, but seemingly three weeks of being in the dark has taken its toll and appears to be my limit. Life is not a romantic comedy. What could be more of a victory for you if you help them be their best self, because you are special and different?
What could be more of a sign of their true devotion to you than a commitment to overcome their personal struggles? And it has not resulted in a loving, lasting relationship. You say that you know that this woman is looking for validation. That validates that she is attractive and powerful. And maybe she is attractive and powerful. A relationship which has no space for you and what you want and need is never going to be a happy one, for either party.